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Tuesday, January 01, 2013

From Whence My Energy?

The theme for January's NaBloPoMo is "Energy."  Today's question is, 'from where does one draw one's energy?'

I noticed that I had signed up for November's NaBloPoMo, and only posted once.  Cheater. Failure. Drummed out.  I did not do it on purpose.  I just forgot.  Better said, I 'lost my energy.'  It takes energy to write.  To formulate thoughts into words, and then to transfer them to our twenty-first century's version of "paper."  I didn't have any. I'll try to do better in January...

From where does my energy come?  Lately, I have not had much.  It's an effort to get out of bed in the mornings.  I guess it comes from family, and you'd think I'd be full of energy--we just had a huge family gathering for a simcha.  But this gathering also brought the past, into the present.  So, my energy was drained again.

Another source of my energy used to be Judaism, Israel, and Hebrew.  I'm kind of in a waning period now.  Trying to figure out what I believe. Somewhat late, I fear, but--it is what it is.

It will take me a while to get back into a routine.  It will take me a while to begin taking care of myself, and forcing myself out of this depression.  But I will do it. I have to do it.

 As I am writing this, I am listening to Disappear, by Dream Theater, my younger son's favorite band (and now I know why).  Instead of helping, it is actually feeding into my melancholy...


Here's the Jewish version of Dream Theater.  Thanks to my friend, Aunt Laya. A different kind of energy...



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